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2020.05.28 03:40 PreciousGaby Would this scenario make me a butthole?

Ok so... I understand if people don't believe in others when they're speaking hypothetically but this time it's legitimate. We have moments of giving into imagination, try to ask "what would you do in this scenario?" And evaluate what this means for you as a person. I found one ... and I'm scarred of the answer but I still wish to know.
I am a cis ally 22F. I respect and cherish those who are in the lgbtqa+ and I never hold judgement and will be patient for those who need time and space. I also happen to have a tiktok.
"How does that even correlate?" You ask?
So I stumble upon a video of p.o.v. scenarios and thought "this seems nice" and video particularly sticks out for me was a p.o.v. about you confess to your straight/lebian girlfriend of your identity. The video was wholesome (for those who were worried) but it did raise a flag about me.
As I said before I am cis and an ally, meaning I do not have a girlfriend by any means. But if I ever found myself with a significant other and they tell me they identify as a woman. I discovered that my knee-jerk reaction is to become a wingman and find someone to replace me as a significant other. Obviously I will support them and cherish them but I don't see myself keep dating them solely because of my identity.
My question; Does that mean, that I'm selfish? That am I a bad person?
Again, I reiterate that this is all hypothetical. I am single, I only have a few non-binary, genger non-comforming, androgynistic friends and they all view me as a sistemom friend. This is just to evaluate my knee-jerk reaction.
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2020.04.24 21:11 some-random-bot Subreddit with no moderators: r/grungefashion

Subreddit: grungefashion
Title: Grunge Fashion
I think we post rules here....
NSFW: False
Moderator(s): Yes
Subscribers: 832
Recent Posts:
Score Title Date
+6 grungefashion needs moderators and is currently available for request 2019-11-21 10:24:43
+2 2018-12-19 05:08:04
+16 Grunge will always be there. 2018-12-18 12:43:39
+12 lets get a little crazy -Bob Ross 2018-12-17 08:41:34
+16 Can someone help me fine this shirt, or type if anyone can I would appreciate it. Especially the type of shirt because its cute 2018-12-08 09:55:29
+9 Grunge is dead 2018-02-12 05:02:53
+2 6 year old in Grunge fashion.. grunge is not dead... 2017-11-10 10:57:29
+1 Muscle "Lebians" 2013-10-23 08:49:32
Days since last request on RedditRequest: 144
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u/AdamRuinsTheShoah Requesting grungefashion inactive for a year Link
N.B. There may be newer requests that have been removed or deleted.
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2020.03.06 06:06 IrishMetal I have a question.

Please excuse me if I use the wrong terminology or if I sound ignorant. It's because I am.
I was just wondering why a lot of lebian couples (and gay couples, I suppose) have one person who fills a more traditionally masculine role and one person who fills a more traditionally feminine role.
My (M) ex girlfriend from high school and college started dating women for a few months at some point after we were broken up and I asked her this question. Her answer made sense but I never quite believed it. She had just started dating women and didn't do it for that long so I don't know if she was fully read in on all the nuances of LGBT dating.
Her answer was that it was a way to hide in public. If one of the women looked more traditionally masculine then they might not draw as much attention if they were kissing or holding hands in public than they would if they both looked traditionally femenine.
submitted by IrishMetal to lgbt [link] [comments]

2019.10.11 01:46 bigobou I (18M) have been in love with my ex-abusive best friend (18M) for 4 years despite having big fights (that led to a depression) with him and I don't know If I should move on or keep hoping for something to happen (knowing that something did happen 2years ago)

Firstly I'm sorry because I really need to evacuate all this story for the first time, so it's gonna be pretty long and I'm adding everything that was important to me, even unnecessary details... There's a TLDR at the end. Also I'm french sooo there may be a few errors, sorry for that.

PART 1 : THE CONTEXT (important but not mandatory if you want to give me your advices)
TW (they're smooth but still) : sex, psychological violence, depression
So all this started when I was in 9th grade. He (let's call him Art) and I were friends for about 7 months, I was in a relationship with a girl (that was before I admitted myself I'm gay) since almost a year (though we never had sex, not even close, it was a really pudic and childlish relationship). At that time I had a small but intense group of friends and everything was for the best. I lived in the deep mountain countryside, so I never invited friends over neither did I came to their house, I was only seeing them at school. But one day, after having erotic dreams about Art and thinging about it for a week, I admitted myself that I had a crush on him. Discovering myself as a queer guy didn't disturb me (I just said I was pansexual to my friends and everyone accepted it). But I was still with my girlfriend at that time and was very anxious especially about my feelings, so I didn't tell him (plus I knew he had a big crush on a girl every once in a while). I just went through this, considering these feelings simply as invasing and useless thoughts. Yeah, I convinced myself to be a heartless, edgy teen at that time.
Then, one year later, during a graduation ceremony (for the brevet des collèges), I met Art's aunt with whom he lived. After like 10 minutes at the buffet, she said that she had noticed he and I were were like glued together, him following every of my impulsive child movements. Since then the invasive thoughts that I had put aside began to haunt me like hell. Two weeks later my gf and I broke up smoothly but for the rest of the year she and her closest friend decided to hate me. From then I had like 3 friends including Art and one who was a grade below so I didn't see him much, so I had no other choice but to stick even closer to him. That's about when he invited me at his house for the first time. That was literally the first time someone invited me (except form my ex neigbour 6 years my senior who sexually abused me when I was 7 but that's totally another story). It was a regular sleep-over but I never felt so close to someone, not even my parents with whom I didn't have a close relationship.
After the Christmas holidays, we met at school again. Art invited me again. I went to his aunt's house again. It was in a city and I never had experienced being in a city, my parents hating everything that included seeing people and never bringing me shopping or whatever, so with Art I lived everything I never had during my empty childhood : a close friend, a supportive parent (in the person of his sweet sweet aunt), nearby stores, being autonomous, etc...
When we were at his house, he told me he had a girlfriend since the day before and he was counting on losing his virginity with her, being the horny teens we were. I got really jealous, but of course didn't show it. But then during this day and evening we started to do weird horny things, like men in cliché bromances. Eventually we kissed. He told me he liked me, that he had started to have feelings for me some weeks ago ("I felt like 80% gay about you tho I'm hetero" style). I still had 0% confidence, so I didn't tell him I loved him. We slept together (meaning sleeping, not having sex) in an embrace, kissing each other good night. Next day I went back to my home, not without teasing him. It was already time for the february holidays, so I knew I wouldn't see him for 2 weeks, but I hoped he would text me a few hours later like he had done last time. He didn't. And that's when my torment really began (that's cliché but whatever).
For two weeks, Art didn't text me. And he knew how anxious I could be and how I almost never started a conversation. He didn't bear what happened (I assumed and still kinda do) and ghosted me. Ah, I'm being dishonest ; at the 2nd week, he did send me a skype (we hadn't used skype for 6 month) to say he lost his virginity in a dumb teen douche style. I was so angry, I cried my rage in the desertic fields. Through the entire weeks I cogitated on how would I react back at school. I finally decided I would stop talking to him, clearly showing my anger. I surestimated myself. First day, first hour, I arrived at school and waited for him to come and for me to start ignoring him. Bleah. He came at me and my other friend, proud as a peacock, as if nothing except his sexual experiences ever happened, and I retained my tears and congratuled him with a broken voice. Years later, I understood that the fact that I lied about having sex with my ex gf some months before (the stupid lie of a stupid unconfident teen that came back like a boomerang to my face, don't lie kids) were what led to that pride.
From then, my vision of the others, and of myself, changed. And my relationship with Art. I started quitting my edgy and false confidence shield. I admitted having repressed all my feelings the 2 preceding years, and most importantly, that I didn't see my relationship with Art was not that cool and healthy. As I had created an image of a heartless teen, he had continuously been psychologically assaulting me, and as I did like it didnt' affect me, he never changed. We had a fight sometimes, but we didn't change anything. Our relationship was a total dominative one, and not in the way I thought or liked. Because of it, I was constantly lowering myself, making myself a fool, having no self esteem. I was responsible for creating it, and he was responsible for not seeing it and encouraging it. Respect was not something in my life. I didn't respect myself, and I didn't respect the others (refer to the "sex with my ex" lie). And that even before the first kiss.
After this event, It became much much worse. He really started to become the center of the world, and I was his emotional support psychological harm victim (if that makes any sense). But I loved him and couldn't say what I deeply thought ("I never did, why would I start now???" did I think). I was psychologically and emotionally attacked by Art's behaviour, by my ex gf whom I really liked but was full of hate against me at this time, one of my friend's stupid ideas and ideology (including homophobia and rape jokes), my parents' lack of interest about everything but them... And to be honest, I still was in a "heartless edgy boy" lifestyle despite my little awareness of myself so it didn't even hit me for almost another year.
Weirdly, when Art invited me at his house again some months after the kiss, I accepted. But more weirdly, our horny behaviours kept happening. We didn't kiss anymore, but we held tight, slept together, humped, etc. There was an enormous sexual tension whenever I was at his house that completely disappeared when we were at school or in town with other friends. He quit his girlfriend (he was a total asshole with her and talked only but shitty about her when they broke up) and started again having crushes to random girls and getting angry at me when they spent time with me (I was great friend with one of them who rejected him and came out later as lebian, but before that it was obviously my fault if she rejected him). During post-midnight discussions (y'know, the philosophical ones), he told me very hurtful things, like "I would obviously go out with you if you were a girl". Because of this I started having dysphoria, I considered myself being trans, I hated my body and my mind, I dreamed of being a physical girl, or at least an androgynous boy.
At the middle of the 11th grade, things calmed down a bit. My ex and her friend stopped hating me (now her friend and I are wonderful friends and confidents), my stupid incel homophobic friend calmed down, even with Art I started to slowly open up. But then he made me metaphorically fall down the stairs. To make him let me go about the lesbian friend story, I told him I had a crush on another girl (an obvious lie but whatev), and he started flirting with her then. Him flirting with a girl or even with this girl is not what enraged me, it was because he thought it would make me jealous of him or something. That's about the time depression hit me like a train. And as in high-school, everybody is self-centered, nobody even doubted anything, except for the lesbian girl. Plus my parents were too busy having them problems to get me a therapist, and school direction was too busy punishing me because I had another way of learning ("damn you, asperger teen !!!") to help in any way.
As a crown for the buffoonery of my life, Art and me ended up having sex. It had been slightly more than a year since we kissed, and all the sexual tension and physical flirting at his house finally came to an "accomplishment". We didn't even realized we started having sex because it was at night, in the dark. And next morning, nothing ever happened. We still haven't talked about it after more than a year. But at school, he started being more and more distant, not even telling me that he was dating that girl I told him I had a crush on. But o the irony, a few weeks before the end of the year and the first general exams (the épreuves anticipées du baccalauréat), he texted me to ask why we were becoming more distant. I snapped. I told him he was harming me and I didn't want to see him anymore. He said he didn't know I felt that way. I said that was the problem, he didn't even realize the damages he caused. He didn't answer. Summer days came, summer days ended, and for the last year of school, everything was great in it's miserableness.
Two of my friends left to do school at home. Art and me avoided each other as much as possible for the whole year. I had literally one real friend left. My mother did emotional blackmail and suicide menaces, preferring blaming my depressive passiveness and the very few choices and changing I dared to make than her horrible job and dull husband. And despite all of this, I still managed to blame my depression on the fact that I had stopped having Art in my life. He was having a wonderful time, of what I heard through my only friend who was also his confident. Getting out, doing parties, having sex, testing drugs, in short having a normal teen life. My friend told me that he missed me. I said whatever, what do I care. But I did. I also figured out I was truly gay and was pretending to be pan in hope Art would want to try being pan too and accept me and my love.
And after 11 months of silent nervous breakdowns during classes where I pretended to sleep but I truly cried, I decided to text him, a long text where I said that despite the fact that he made my life a hellhole, not being with him was much worse. I said I wanted us to try being friends again, but different this time. Without the sick domination. But I don't even think he had gained consciousness during this one-year break. I don't even know if he understood I was still in love with him. He just told me "Yeah, you're important to me, let's talk tomorrow, we'll catch up.". We did. We talked about movies, and about him.

PART 2 : THE NOW (this one is important)
Now we're in college, both independant, both in the city. We even live in the same building. We're best friends again, and I'm still deeply in love with him. He doesn't act the same than a year ago (I wouldn't have let him anyway). He and his girlfriend broke up after a year ; he said she broke up with him because of the distance, but I don't believe it, he seems weird about it. I think he broke up with her because he didn't love her anyway and now that he's in a new environment he wanted change. He has a great social life and I don't really. I have friends, much more than before, but nyeh. I started flirting with a friend of a friend (well now we're just friends) and I don't know if it could lead anywhere. I still have a few nervous breakdowns every once in a while because of the lack of affection in my life (I think ????). And that's the problem. I don't know if I should keep hoping for something to happen with my best friend (and my confident is not of any help, drunk-telling me she'd love to see us together but not saying if there's any chance), if I should try dating guys with whom I (apparently) have a chance though I am not that interested, if I should try meeting new people (I installed tinder and grindr but I never answer to messages).... That's why I post this here (and to be honest I never told all this to anyone so I also use this to let off steam).

I'm a gay man in college, just came out of a deep depression and am still deeply in love with my best friend (and now neighbour) who used to emotionally abuse me and with whom I had sex once but it has changed now. But I also have a few chances with other men and am in a few dating app. I don't know if I should keep on hoping I could ever be in a relationship with him or if I'm losing my time and I should meet other men.
submitted by bigobou to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2018.09.13 04:16 TeaWithCarina I'm so jealous of lesbians for having a culture.

Sorry, this is probably a dumb post, but this just keeps hitting me all the time and I wondered if anyone else could relate.
For ten years, I identified as just bi. On a number of occasions, the idea of being ace hit me, but I mostly set it aside, because the idea of bisexuality just felt so good to me and I felt like I belonged so much around other bi people. And it was such a nice community, full of friendly people treating each other equally regardless of gender or anything else. But, there always was that annoyance in me that gay people often seemed to view bisexuals as lesser. There were all kinds of nice bi jokes and stereotypes and things that we could make into our common language, but there were so many gay ones that would fit as well, that I was never sure I could entirely claim. I remember being so weirdly happy when the Bisexual Haircut joke came about - it was nice to just have that for ourselves, y'know?
But as time went on, I started to realise that I probably actually was asexual, and possibly aro, too. And that... was such an awful, isolating feeling. I already felt like I couldn't connect to normal people - I'm a massive introvert with ADHD/ASD leanings (I am literally incapable of feeling completely comfortable when another person is around, I can only feel totally relaxed by myself), and at the time I'd recently graduated university and was having absolutely 0 luck finding anyone who wanted me to work for them. The idea of losing even that, too - that which so many people claim makes us human - was terrifying, and the practical consequences only seemed even worse. My mum has said to me once that adults can't ever really have close friends outside of their partner, because everything becomes about your partner and kids when you grow up. I tortured myself thinking about that for months. Was I just going to be alone forever? And I actually really wanted kids (still do) - how could I possibly take care of them on my own? Hell, in a world which assumes dual incomes, how on earth could my unemployed ass even survive...? (Luckily I have a trainee job now so that's partially mollified...)
More than anything, all I needed was to have a place where I could belong. Where I could feel part of something. A place where we could make dumb jokes and claim things for ourselves (jokingly, of course) and emphasise over and over This Is Us: We Belong Together. For so long, that'd been the queer community, which had been perfect for that. No matter what I did, I was queer, and every time someone made a joke about something being gay I kind of sat back, knowing there were people who had my back and wanted things for me in the world. (Apart from the occasional 'bi people shouldn't say they're gay!!" lesbians but they really did feel like a minority.)
And then... ace discourse happened. Suddenly, all aces were scavengers trying to steal resources from gay people. Anytime an ace person brought up their identity, they were butting in with things that don't matter, or even making gay people feel uncomfortable. They were harrassed out of taking part in queer things, and any things aces did try to claim, were even mocked, or harrassed for taking something that 'belongs' to lesbians. (See: one time someone was making pride themed soaps based on mythology, and chose Artemis for a-specs, only to be harrassed by lesbians because she was 'stealing from lesbians' because some already liked to interpret her as a lesbian.)
Childish and ridiculous? Yeah. But I just felt so alone in the world. I've always felt like I needed to be private about my thoughts and feelings because they were weird, and all this only magnified it. Hell, during this time I got super interested in the American Revolution (yes, through Hamilton, through this went way beyond that) - as a young Australian woman, I literally was never able to mention that in a way that didn't make people laugh, and it was just such a reminder of how different from everyone else I was.
This is really rambly and off topic, but the point is: there's such a strong lesbian identity that I am so, so jealous of. Lesbians can have lesbian hair and lesbian clothing and lesbian hobbies, where they go to meet other obvious lesbians, and talk about lesbian celebrities and lesbian movies and lesbian music, in buildings and neighborhoods specifically for lebians, where they can happily live our lesbian ideology and philosophy. There are lesbian words, lesbian jokes, lesbian terms that only lesbians are supposed to use, and any time something could vaguely relate to any of those things, or involves two girls being close in any way, that's a Lesbian thing for lesbians only and anyone who disregards that will be harrassed. (Girl dates a girl and we have no idea of her identity? She MUST be interpreted as a lesbian. And bisexuals are able to participate in this, but ONLY as long as they prioritise lesbians and act as much like lesbians as they can. Openly being attracted to men is right out.)
And I feel so bitter and awful because none of this is the fault of lesbians as a class or anything, but I'm just so fucking jealous. Even when people express hatred towards lesbians and bi women, it's recognisable as homophobia, and they can stand up and be proud of their identity and say 'that's wrong' without confusion and know there will be people behind them (I should know - that's always how I felt). I find myself constantly needing to convince myself that aphobia even exists, leaving me repeating stats to myself like Arya Stark, about rape statistic and housing discrimination and the like, just to feel like I'm not the bad guy. It's so awful to be gaslit by the world like this, told you don't even exist, mocked for even suggesting that you're suffering, having everything good and enjoyable ripped away from you. I just want to feel like I'm real, you know? I've disassociated so much just because I felt so disconnected from everything and everyone else in the world because I never seemed to react to anything the same way as them...
And I know it's weird to be writing this here because this is an asexual community! And I'm extremely grateful for it and trying to involve myself more in it. But it's so TINY. There are so few of us. We were always part of the LGBT+ community, so we're so heavily tied, but now that I feel like I'm not welcome in some of those parts, I don't know what to do. We were meant to uplift each other as a community, but looking back, it feels like it's always been aspecs lifting up the first letters in the acronym, and getting little more than an occasional 'so yeah aces exist, pretty wild huh?' article back. (And, again, I've done literal volunteer work for LGBT+ rights, so I'm not just whining here.) And I still feel so fucking embarrassed over any fun aspec thing, like space ace aesthetics, or squishes, or QPPs (even though I literally am in one, but I feel such cringe over it I can't actually explain my own relationship to anyone :( ).
I just...wish there was a well-known aspec culture, you know? Something that could make me feel 'Yes, I'm a-spec, and I'm proud of that, because aces and aros are great people who deserve good things!' (And fuck, the fact that I don't even know exactly whether I'm aro or not doesn't help either because the current discourse also seems to be 'if you take part in things for an identity you don't belong to, fuck you, you're a fetishising invader' which has made me so scared to even approach aro things...) Something that could make me feel like who I am isn't only bad and unfortuante things. That there is a group I can belong to proudly and claim and express. Anything.
submitted by TeaWithCarina to Asexual [link] [comments]

2018.05.28 02:04 DownsonJerome A little paragraph I wrote detailing how to calculate the gayness of someone.

If you really think about it, the only people that can be 100% NOT gay are lesbians who only date lesbians (no bisexuals). But before I explain that, I need to establish what makes someone gay. There are 4 factors to someone's gayness levels. [1] The genitals of the person in question. [2] The genitals of the partner of the person in question. [3] The preferred genitals of the person in question. [4] Lastly, the preffered genitals of the partner of the person in question. With these rules established, I can now explain my original claim. But first, let's take a gander at a few people who ARE gay. Men who like women are 50% gay. This is because they have a penis (+25% gay), they like vagina (+25% not gay) the girl they like has a vagina (+25% not gay) but the girl like penis (+25% gay). Guys who like guys are 100% gay. They have a penis, like penis, like people with penises, and these people like people with penises. Now of course, there are still bisexual people who both like penis and vagina. Since sexuality is 25% of gayness, if you like both vagina and penis, it adds only 12.5% gay. The same also applies to their partner. People also get confused by transgenders a.k.a. traps. The solution, however, is quite simple. Traps are gay. They are gay 100% no matter what. And so this brings us back to how lesbians are the only people who can achieve 100% not gay. Lesbians have vagina (+25% not gay), like vagina (+25% not gay), like people with vagina (+25% gay), and finally like people who like vagina(+25 not gay). This sums up to a grand total of 100% not gay. Now, you may have realized that men cannot atain this status of 100% gay. This is true, sad, but true. However, I will provide a guide for how men can reach the lowest levels of gay possible. To do this, you must only have sex with these pure 100% not gay lesbians. There is one flaw with this however. If you are having sexual intercourse with one of these 100% not gay lebians, wouldn't they become partially gay since you have a penis? This is true. There is a loophole though. The lesbian would only become partially gay if they like your penis so what you would have to do to achieve minimum gay would be to rape them. By raping the lesbian you are bypassing factpr [4] and causing yourself to only be 25% gay (due to having a penis).
submitted by DownsonJerome to copypasta [link] [comments]

2018.05.09 21:31 yo927 What am I supposed to infer from the statistic "50% of the lesbian population has experienced or will experience domestic violence in their lifetimes"

It's on posters around my school and I have no fucking clue what it wants me to take away.
Considering that lesbians date other lesbians, does this mean that lesbian relationships are less healthy? Are lesbians disproportionately more likely to be abusive towads their partner? Because I feel like that's not true.
Maybe lebians are experiencing a decent amount of this abuse in heterosexual relationships that they try to leave. But at a number like 50%, that would mean a sizable amount of lesbians would pretend to be straight long enough to get involved with an abusive male partner. I could be wrong, but wouldn't you need at least like 75% of lesbians pretending to be straight to get number like this without lesbians being disproportionately abusive? I feel like that number is too high too...
Does anybody have an explanation or context or even the source for this? Am I just thinking about this wrong? I don't really trust any conclusions I make using this statictic.
submitted by yo927 to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]

2017.04.18 11:12 Retrogamerlady185 Lonley

Hi guys,
Just kind of wondering, how to make friends? It seems stupid asking and I know I'm not alone but I'm in my 30's now and still seem to have not figured it out.
The other year my boyfirend went through a few ops and I was his carer, I also work as an account and used to do lots of overtime and still study on the side. This was the last time I felt depressed and on this ocation I was also suicidal. I ended up having 2 weeks off and my work basically telling me not to let it effect my work again.
This time I haven't gotten there yet (suisidal) and the thing that always keeps me from getting to that point of no return is my partner as I can't deny he needs me, though some times I wonder if he would be better off with someone else.
I have always found it hard to make friends and my two best friends of the past both had to actually tell me, as I was so blind to it.
I've also been burned a few times too. For example about 9 years ago a girl at work started sitting down to lunch with and we walked back to the station together. I told her that I was bi and currently see a very butch pcso (plastic policmen). She seemed fine with the queer thing and told me a story about a gay sales attendent that automatically thought she facided him and how that was annoying so I thought it would be safe. She evently stopped working there and didn't contact me after when I tried about ones with no response. Later I found out that she had told the rather biggoted sexist guys we also worked with about me and told them she though I fancied her... er no! I thought I had a new friend, this girl was covered in makeup and frills what about "I'm currently seeing a butch pcso" made her think I was after her!
Again recently I was trying to make friends and a woman at work, who sadly left my work and we live no where near each other, set up a nights drinks. She was the closes to a new friend I've had for a while and other than the fact she found gaming to be a waste of time we got along. So on this night out the other two work colleges I found out later in the evening didn't previously know I was bi. There response was that they felt sorry for my bf that I could run off with a girl any miniet. WFT. Since when? What else about me other than being bi would put that in their heads I've been in a comitted relationship for over 8 years now, only ever been in comitted relationships and never cheated on a partner. Now I'm left working with one of them and the others gone and I don't speek to her and the only one I got along with is dealing with her own stuff, she left due bad health ie stress and she had previously had a stroke.
The guys at my work are ok but as a woman in her 30s its a bit weird to hang out with guys in their 20s. Plus I don't really want to sit in a pub watching football. It was ok when I lived closer and they could come round for a few games of tekken or mario cart. But I can't expect others to travel 2+ hours to mine then back again.
It doesn't help that due to my partners poor health we have moved closer to his work so I feel even more isolated. In this new area I know no one. We don't drink so we just kind of stay in a lot.
When one of my best friends found we were moving out she was mad at first. She yelled at me about how little we see each other so it wouldn't matter anyway. I difused it quickly as she was one of the only people i did put extra effort into. I screen shotted our last coversations. These basically showed me trying to meet and her constently saying she'll get back untill i got bored of chasing her. Now its gone back to that, since a september she has said we can meet up but she never gives me a date or time and if she does it gets canceled at the last minet. Shes invited me over for a annsummers partly which isn't my thing and I told her I'd rather just come over for a cup of tea but I will try just because I want to see her. But as the last 3 times I saw her was weddings/hen pafties I feel as though I'm being used to buff out numbers. She also used to use me a lot for money, to get guys or to make herself feel better so not too sure if repairing this friendship is worth it. She also went through a big faze of calling me her lebian friend, which I'm not I'm bi and she coniued saying when I had settled with my current bf.
My other best friend is basically one of the best people in the world and shes been here for over half my life now but as we've moved about it now costs her an arm and a leg plus to get to us. Plus the pre planning and shes setting up her life with her partner and I can't spend as much time with her as I used to. Maybe meet ones every few months. I try and get to her or she tries to get to me.
I want to sit in a game! But you don't meet people that way. I've tried joining marshal arts clubs, art clubs, magic the gathering card evening and going to the odd young profesionals evenings. Started talking to people on the various courses I go on but never manage to stay talking to people after.
I don't really want to force myself to sit in a pub as i often find the people who hang out in pubs are not my kind of people and will think me weird/quiet anyway. I'm introverted and don't drink so what do I do?
Recently (well not that recent) I even tried sending a facebook message to an old school aquatence/friend who I found out was into wow. Nothing back.
What do I do? I could find people online but not locals, not people I can actually meet after work for a quick cup of tea and a chat.
I'm fed up of feeling lonely other than the few staples (one of my best friends and partner) its been this way since I left school 15 years back. How do I stop this without changing or hiding who I am?
submitted by Retrogamerlady185 to depression [link] [comments]